FaRA’S CoRNeR

“Ummi, hari tu Aisyah ada cerita kan pasal exam Aisyah yang susah.
Aisyah ‘fail’ ummi.” Serentak dengan itu, makin kuat esakannya.
“Aisyah , tidak mengapa, sabar Aisyah, ummi tahu, Aisyah dah berikan
yang terbaik. Allah pun tahu Aisyah dah usaha sungguh-sungguh untuk paper Aisyah yang satu ni,” pujukku.

“Ummi, Aisyah sedih. Kawan Aisyah banyak yang lepas ummi, Aisyah
seorang saja yang tersangkut ummi,” katanya dalam sedu sedannya.
“Aisyah, sabar sayang, banyakkan istighfar, nak.” Pilu hatiku mendengar
esak tangisnya. Teringat aku pada peristiwa yang sama yang pernah
terjadi padaku dua puluh lima tahun yang lalu.
“Aisyah, tidak mengapa, gagal sekali ni bukan bermaksud gagal
selama-lamanya. Aisyah masih ada peluang nak baiki mana yang silap,
yakinkan mana yang ragu, sebab Aisyah masih belajar. Nanti Aisyah masih
ada peluang untuk ulang semula paper ni kan?” soalku.

“Ummi, tak sama ulang semula dengan tak perlu ulang semula. Aisyah
malu.”
“Aisyah, malu yang diajar islam bukan begitu caranya. Kita perlu malu
kalau kita buat salah dengan Allah, tak ikut apa yang Allah suruh buat,
buat apa yang Allah larang. Lulus atau gagal ini letaknya di tangan
Allah, Allah dah tetapkan sejak azali lagi. Allah tak kisah kalau kita
gagal atau lulus, tapi Allah kira usaha yang kita buat untuk jawab
soalan kita,belajar, berdoa, itu semua termasuk dalam nilaian Allah.
Lepas tu, keputusan itu di tangan Allah, dan kita sebagai umat islam
diajar untuk redha dengan apa yang Allah dah tetapkan untuk kita
selepas kita dah berusaha dan bertawakal.

Sepatutnya Aisyah, kita kena rasa malu kalau kita tak percaya dengan
apa yang Allah dah tetapkan untuk kita,” nasihatku.
“Tapi ummi, perit sungguh rasa ni. Ummi, kenapa Aisyah ummi..Aisyah
rasa tak cukup kuat pun nak hadapi ujian Allah ni,” esaknya.
“Aisyah, manusia ni pertimbangannya tak jauh. Ilmunya terhad, tak
pernah sama dengan ilmu Allah. Yakinlah Aisyah, kalaupun Aisyah tak
nampak, bahawa ini adalah yang terbaik untuk Aisyah. Jangan cakap
seperti itu nak, itu tanda orang putus asa, Allah tak suka orang yang
berputus asa,” pesanku.
“Aisyah, ingat tak ayat Quran yang ummi ajar Aisyah baca setiap pagi..
“Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan dengan kesanggupannya….”
(Al-Baqarah : 286)

“Aisyah, dalam ayat ni, Allah dengan jelasnya beritahu bahawa dia
tidak akan uji kita kalau kita tak mampu. Ini kata-kata Allah Aisyah,
yang tiada ragunya, yang sentiasa benar dari dulu hingga kini,
kata-kata dari pencipta kita.,” katanya.

“Ummi, Aisyah tahu….tapi, susahnya ummi nak terima hakikat ni,”
katanya.
“Aisyah sayang, ini barulah apa yang kita katakan praktikal dari apa
yang kita belajar selama ini. Kalau dulu, ummi asyik ajar Aisyah teori
bersabar, inilah waktunya bila mana Aisyah kena praktikkan sabar itu.
Ummi tahu, ia memang manis dan sedap untuk diucapkan, tetapi hakikatnya
susah untuk dilakukan. Sebab tu orang yang banyak bersabar ni
ganjarannya tinggi di sisi Allah.”

“Aisyah, cuba kita tengok kisah Rasulullah dulu. Sayang Allah
padanya, Allah uji dengan pelbagai ujian, Allah uji dengan kaum Mekah
yang tidak jemu-jemu menentangnya, Allah uji dengan perginya
orang-orang yang tersayang ketika baginda sangat-sangat memerlukannya,
Allah uji dengan macam-macam lagi bentuk ujian. Allah tak bagi
Rasulullah kemenangan dengan mudah, kerana Allah nak ajar Rasulullah
s.a.w. dan umatnya bersabar itu bagaimana. Sabarlah Aisyah, Allah
sayang padamu, sebab tu Allah uji dengan ujian sebegini rupa, sebab
Allah nak Aisyah lagi dekat padaNya, Allah nak bagi peluang dekat
Aisyah tambah pahala berlipat ganda dengan banyak-banyak bersabar.”

“Aisyah, kadang-kadang, gagal inilah yang akan memacu kita untuk
lebih berjaya. Bersyukurlah sayangku, sebab Allah tunjuk kelemahan kita
sejak dari mula lagi, Allah bagi kita peluang untuk baiki segala
kesilapan kita dari awal supaya kita berjaya dengan cemerlang kelak.
Allah ajar kita untuk pandai bahagikan masa antara kerja persatuan dan
pelajaran, sebagai langkah awal sebelum menempuh alam rumahtangga yang
pastinya lebih mencabar kelak.”

“Ummi, Aisyah rasa Aisyah dah bagi yang terbaik ummi,”katanya.
“Aisyah, sebab tu ummi kata, pengetahuan manusia ni terhad. Kita sukar
untuk nampak hikmah di sebalik sesuatu peristiwa. Mungkin apa yang
Allah nak didik Aisyah ialah kemenangan dan kejayaan kita bukan
terletak pada banyak mananya usaha yang telah kita buat, tapi pada
rahmat dan kekuasaan Allah.”
“Aisyah ingat tak kisah perang Hunain di mana bilangan umat islam yang
ramai tidak menjamin kejayaan mereka. Kenapa agaknya Aisyah?” tanyaku.

“Kenapa ummi?” tanyanya berminat.

“Kerana bilangan yang ramai itu telah menyebabkan mereka lupa untuk
bergantung penuh pada Allah, mereka merasa mereka kuat dengan tentera
yang banyak, walhal kemenangan itu terletak pada tangan Allah.
“Samalah dengan usaha kita yang banyak. Usaha itu diibaratkan sebagai
pancing untuk meraih rahmat dan redha Allah yang akan menentukan
kejayaan atau kemenangan kita kelak.” ceritaku.

“Ummi, Aisyah rasa Allah nak ajar Aisyah untuk jadi hamba Allah
yang betul-betul hamba, tanpa ada secebis pun rasa aku hebat dalam
diri. Mungkin benar apa yang ummi cakap, sebab sebelum ni Aisyah kan
sentiasa senang, cemerlang dalam segala-galanya. Nombor satu dalam
kelas perkara biasa, semua ‘A’, pelajar terbaik sekolah sampai mungkin
Aisyah terlupa untuk mengembalikan rasa syukur itu kembali kepada
Allah,” jawabnya.

“Alhamdulillah, itulah yang ummi cuba sampaikan. Itulah yang
dinamakan ujian dalam nikmat, yang mana kita selalu terlupa, bak Qarun
yang terlupa untuk ingat Allah dengan banyaknya harta yang dimiliki.”
kataku.

“Nauzubillah ummi, Aisyah tak nak jadi macam tu ummi.” katanya.

“Begitulah sayang, Allah suruh ambil pengajaran dari kisah-kisah terdahulu,” nasihatku.

“Terima kasih ummi, Aisyah rindulah nak jumpa ummi. Baiklah ummi,
Aisyah akan usaha sungguh-sungguh lepas ni dan berdoa dan berharap
betul-betul pada Allah.” janjinya.

“Alhamdulillah nak, kita kembalikan semuanya kepada Allah,” tambahku.
“Baiklah ummi, azan dah berkumandang tu, Aisyah solat dulu. Terima kasih lagi sekali, my dearest ummi.” katanya.

“Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, ummi,” katanya menutu bicara.

         
——————————————————–

           I was born in a
secluded village on a mountain.
           Day by day, my
parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their
           backs towards the
sky.

           I have a brother
who is 3 years younger than me.
           I wanted to buy a
handkerchief, which all girls around me
           seemed to have.
So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father’s
           drawer. Father had
discovered about the stolen money right
           away.

           He made me and my
younger brother kneel against the wall as he
           held a bamboo
stick in his hand.
           "Who stole
the money?" he asked.

           I was stunned, too
afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to
           the fault,so he
said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two
           should be
beaten!" He lifted up the bamboo stick.

           Suddenly, my
younger brother gripped father’s hand and said,"
           Dad, I was the one
who did it!"

           The long stick
smacked my brother’s back repeatedly. Father was
           so angry that he
kept on whipping my brother until he lost his
           breath.

           After that, he sat
down on our stone bed and scolded my
           brother, "You
have learned to steal from your own house now.
           What other
embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in
           the future? You
should be beaten to death, you shameless
           thief!"

           That night, my
mother and I hugged my brother. His body was
           full of wounds
from the beating but he never shed a single
           tear.

           In the middle of
the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly.
           My brother covered
my mouth with his little hand and said, "
           Sis, now don’t cry
anymore. Everything has happened."

           I still hate
myself for not having enough courage to admit what
           I did.

           Years gone by, but
the incident still seemed like it just
           happened
yesterday. I will never forget my brother’s expression
           when he protected
me.

           That year, my
brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old.

         
———————————————————-

           When my brother
was in his last year of secondary school, he
           was accepted in an
upper secondary school in the central. At
           the same time, I
was accepted into a university in the
           province. That
night, father squatted in the yard, smoking,
           packet by packet.

           I could hear him
ask my mother, "Both of our children, they
           have good results?
very good results?"

           Mother wiped off
her tears and sighed," What is the use? How
           can we possibly
finance both of them?"

           At that time, my
brother walked out, he stood in front of
           father and said,
"Dad, I don’t want to continue my studies
           anymore, I have
read enough books."

           Father swung his
hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why
           do you have a
spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to
           beg for money on
the streets, I will send you two to school
           until you have
both finished your studies."

           And then, he
started to knock on every house in the village to
           borrow money.

           I stuck out my
hand as gently as I can to my brother’s swollen
           face, and told
him, "A boy has to continue his studies; If not,
           he will not be
able to overcome this poverty we are
         
experiencing."

           I, on the other
hand, had decided to further my studies at the
           university. Nobody
knew that on the next day, before dawn, my
           brother left the
house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes
           and a few dry
beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left
           a note on my
pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not
           easy. I will go
find a job and I will send money to you."

           I held the note
while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost
           my voice.

           That year, my
brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.

         
———————————————————–

           With the money
father borrowed from the whole village, and the
           money my brother
earned from carrying cement on his back at a
           construction site,
finally, I managed to get to the third year
           of my studies in
the university.

           One day, while I
was studying in my room, my roommate came in
           and told me,
"There’s a villager waiting for you outside!"

           Why would there be
a villager looking for me? I walked out, and
           I saw my brother
from afar. His whole body was covered with
           dirt, dust, cement
and sand. I asked him, "Why did you not tell
           my roommate that
you are my brother?"

           He replied with a
smile," Look at my appearance. What will they
           think if they
would know that I am your brother? Won’t they
           laugh at
you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I
           swept away dirt
and dust from my brother’s body. And told him
           with a lump in my
throat, " I don’t care what people would say!
           You are my brother
no matter what your appearance is?"

           From his pocket,
he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it
           on my hair and
said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing
           it. So, I think
you should also have one."

           I could not hold
back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into
           my arms and cried.

           That year, my
brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.

         
———————————————————–

           I noticed that the
broken window was repaired the first time I
           brought my
boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned.

           After my boyfriend
left, I danced like a little girl in front
           of my mother,
"Mom, you didn’t have to spend so much time
           cleaning the
house!"

           But she told me
with a smile," It was your brother who went
           home early to clean
the house. Didn’t you see the wound on his
           hand? He hurt his
hand while he was replacing the window."

           I went into my
brother’s bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I
           felt like there
are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.

           I applied some
ointment on his wound and put a bandag on it,
           "Does it
hurt? " I asked him.

           "No, it
doesn’t hurt. You know, when at the construction site,
           stones keep
falling on my feet. Even that could not stop me
           from
working."

           In the middle of
the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on
           him and tears
rolled down my face.

           That year, my
brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

           ———————————————————–

           After I got
married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband
           invited my parents
to come and live with us, but they didn’t
           want.

           They said, once
they left the village, they wouldn’t know what
           to do. My brother
agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just
           take care of your
parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and
           dad here."

           My husband became
the director of his factory. We asked my
           brother to accept
the offer of being the manager in the
           maintenance
department. But my brother rejected the offer. He
           insisted on
working as a repairman instead for a start. One
           day, my brother
was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable,
           when he got
electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital.

           My husband and I
visited him at the hospital. Looking at the
           white gypsum on
his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the
           offer of being a
manager? Managers won’t do something dangerous
           like that. Now
look at you, You are suffering a serious injury.
           Why didn’t you
just listen to us?"

           With a serious
expression on his face, he defended his
           decision,
"Think of brother-in-law. He just became the
           director, and I
being uneducated, and would become a manager,
           what kind of
rumors would fly around?"

           My husband’s eyes
filled up with tears, and then I said, "But
           you lack in
education only because of me!"

           "Why do you
talk about the past?" he said and then he held my
           hand.

           That year, he was
26 years old and I was 29 years old.

           ——————————————————–

           My brother was 30
years old when he married a farmer girl from
           the village.

           During the wedding
reception, the master of ceremonies asked
           him, "Who is
the one person you respect and love the most?"

           Without even
taking a time to think, he answered," My sister."
           He continued by
telling a story I could not even remember.

           "When I was
in primary school, the school was in a different
           village. Everyday,
my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to
           school and back
home. One day, I lost the other pair of my
           gloves. My sister
gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove
           and she had to walk
far. When we got home, her hands were
           trembling because
of the cold weather that she could not even
           hold her
chopsticks…"

           "From that
day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take
           care of my sister and
will always be good to her."

           Applause filled up
the room. All guests turned their attention
           to me. I found it
hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I
           would like to
thank most is my brother," And in this happy
           occasion, in front
of the crowd, tears were rolling down my
           face again.

           Love and care for
the one you love every single day of your
           life. You may
think what you did is just a small deed, but to
           that someone, it
may mean a lot.

Ya Allah, ku mohon
Apa yang telah Kau takdirkan
Ku harap dia adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau tahu segala isi hatiku
Pelihara daku dari kemurkaanMu

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pemurah
Beri kekuatan jua harapan
Membina diri yang lesu tak bermaya
Semaikan setulus kasih di jiwa

Ku pasrah kepadaMu
Kurniakanlah aku
Pasangan yang beriman
Bisa menemani aku
Supaya ku dan dia
Dapat melayar bahtera
Ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pengasih
Engkau sahaja pemeliharaku
Dengarkan rintihan hambaMu ini
Jangan Engkau biarkan ku sendiri